I’m writing this post a few days after the fact as I needed to process what I just went through before being able to jot it down.

After my recent trip to a&e, I knew there was a likelihood of needing to start dialysis sooner rather than later. Following subsequent discussions with the PD team and a further conversation with my renologist I was admitted last Wednesday to undergo keyhole surgery to have a catheter inserted into my abdomen in prep for starting dialysis (manual, gravity).

I had already been given a packet of “mediprep” – a strong laxative – to take the night before to make sure my bowels would be completely empty before any surgery. Having had an early dinner, I mixed up the powder into a couple of pints. It smelled like sherbert lemon which was not unpleasant but the texture of this liquid was very difficult to swallow. Its hard to describe but it was a mix between water and jelly; somehow like “thick water”.

Nevertheless, I managed to force it down over a 1 hour period and waited. And waited. And still waited. It wasn’t until 2 hours after starting to drink the stuff that the gurgling started. I won’t go into the detail but let’s just say that Japan wasn’t the only place to see a tsunami that night!

I couldn’t sleep – constantly running to the loo – and things didnt calm down until about 6am!

A very early trip saw me arrive at hospital at 8:30am where I was met by some very nice nhs nurses. Bloods were taken for tests to make sure the operation could go ahead and I had 1.5hours of 100ml worth of antibiotics intravenusly pumped into me. Exhausted from the evenings events, I spent a good 5 hours trying to snooze slumped in a chair and nodded off a couple of times. Not proper sleep, just exhaustion-based passing out.

At 2pm, I was finally asked to don the traditional hospital gown attire and then made my way to meet the surgical staff. I didn’t quite know what to expect but everything that everyone was getting up to was explained to me as they did it. I was still very sleepy which was perhaps a good thing or anxiety would have taken over.

After yet more people arrived – nurses, surgeons and goodness knows who else – surgical sheets stuck on me and a lot of gloving and masking up of everyone it was time.

Time for the most painful experience of my life. Now, look here, local anasthetic is used to numb the pain and keyhole surgery involves only tiny incisions but there is no way to delicately open someone up, cut through muscle, puncture the abdominal membrane and shove a catheter in there! F. Me. It hurt so much. I ended up needing liquid morphene (which was lovely btw) and now I think about it, I cannot 100% remember the pain as my brain and whole body went into shock – resulting in uncontrollable shaking.

I think you get the gist – it was horrific. However there IS a PLUS to this…. In comparison to general anasthetic which is higher risk and requires overnight stays and tubes into the throat etc. this is all done and dusted within the hour and patients are able to go home an hour or so later.

And that is what I did. I am very grateful for having a family member come pick me up – I pity anyone doing the journey by public transport or, worse, a jerky prius-based uber ride. It was uncomfortable for sure but having someone to talk with as a distraction, plus painkillers still working, helped.

Once home, the pain and discomfort started to rise and, still utterly knackered, I fell asleep pretty much straight away on the sofa (reclining seat helps).

That was day 1. Not fun at all but part of the process, the journey; to stay alive just a little bit longer.